988 replies to this topic

[The duck]

ʸᵃʸ, on 21 May 2013 - 10:21 AM, said:

I always feel so weird putting myself out here on this thread for some reason. Ah well. Two independent questions, so I'm gonna stick them both in spoiler tags to separate them I guess. I'm also writing this between rounds in CS:GO, so sorry if it feels somewhat disjointed.

Spoiler

So some of you might remember my previous post about how things were somewhat weird with my somewhat ex-girlfriend. We're now at the point, where, to quote her: "I love you platonically, if that's possible. I love you, I just don't want to be intimate with you anymore." Which, to her, means basically no kissing or sex. Fine, I can deal with that. I might not be happy with it, but I can deal with it. However, the problem comes in when she mentions spending the night with her new boyfriend, mostly because I know they're getting up to what I'll never be able to have again. I know it shouldn't bother me that much, but I swear, there's nothing that makes me more depressed and/or angry than hearing about that. I guess I'm just looking for some advice on how to cope with it when it comes up.

Spoiler

Next, there's a girl at work I'm pretty sure is interested in me. That, or she's just really friendly and shows it in a rather unique way. For example:
-She asks me, daily, when I work next. She's always quite excited when it's at the same time as her.
-She made a rather deliberate effort to come through my till, despite it having a somewhat longer line than the others.
-I end up catching her quickly looking away from me the moment I look in her direction multiple times an hour.
Just a small list there. Then, the most significant one: while we were both on break at the same time, she was at another table in the break room, talking to some other people. She ended up talking quite a bit louder about not being in a relationship, seemingly glancing over at me during it.

The main problem comes in with having no means of contacting her outside work. I know she's going on a vacation to Vegas in under a week, so I'm trying to figure out a way to use that to my advantage, somehow. Any ideas?

Spoiler story 1: platonic love, fair enough. It's good that you have such a close friend! However, do let her know that you're still a male and not another female friend of her. I assume she doesn't do it on purpose, so try to let her know, perhaps more or less implicitely.

Spoiler story 2: I can relate to this. I suggest you just walk up to her and initiate a discussion. Doesn't have to be anything big, even mocking the customer or work would work. If she is interested, she will continue the discussion. Perhaps you exchange numbers / facebook later on? If you want something you gotta make a start. Good luck!

[amar]

ditch your ex and go for the new bird that's interested in you, best way to get over a girl is to find a new one

[Jules]

So, I'm seeing the girl I mentioned before on a regular basis now. We go out for drinks and stuff, or we just meet up at each other's place. Note we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. Basically, I'm going on a lads holiday in six or seven weeks where we'll drink tremendous amounts of alcohol. She knows this and said I can't go around doing whatever with other girls while on holiday. Again, I note, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm kind of confused as to what to do. I like this girl I'm seeing, but I want to have fun on holiday as well. I don't feel the least bit of guilt thinking about this. Does this mean I'm a cabbage? For some reason I have a hard time figuring I'm more or less with her.

e; To describe what I have with her.. When I go to bed, I think about her. When I wake up, I think about her. I talk to her every single day. I think I see her like once a week right now. We've both got busy schedules, plus I don't want to have to do anything the next day as I can't sleep when I'm lying next to someone.

Edited by Jules, Yesterday, 01:36 PM.

[Scott]

If you're not in a relationship, you shouldn't feel guilty about having fun on holiday. At the same time, you can't blame her for being jealous if you two are close and intimate. But she doesn't have the right to tell you that you can't do things with anyone else if you're not actually together.

[Jules]

Well, I'm generally someone who shies away from conflict over things like these as I hate conflict with people that I hold close to me. Strangely enough, so does she. Might be why things are going so smoothly. Though, I notice I'm not so much confused, rather feel like this whole thing we're having makes no sense if I can't be with others while we're not official like that. I suppose I should see how it evolves over the coming weeks, if things continue like they are (more & more intimate) perhaps it'll eventually be time to make things official. I feel anxious yet excited while writing this so I suppose it's something I want.

Cheers for the clearing that out. I talked to my housemate about it and he's just trolling me saying we were together & saying she's absolutely right..

Edited by Jules, Yesterday, 02:18 PM.

[Jioxas]

You care about her a lot, so try to make things official before the holiday. You need to find out how much you are both into each other before the holiday.

Ask her if she would like to become official before going. If she says yes, have fun but dont mess around with girls. If she says no, have the best holiday of ur life. Imagine if you dont mess around with other girls on holiday, come back, and then she tells you she prefers you as a friend.

7 weeks should be enough time.

[1clan o 3 OG DD]

My girlfriends little sister is into me.  She is 18 so don't worry.

What to do.

[spoonheb]

I'd say stick with your girlfriend.. even if you successfully switch to her little sister you're in for a (relationship) lifetime of awkward moments and encounters.

[Jules]

Why do you think she's into you? I'd talk to your girlfriend about it if I were you.