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Official Relationship Advice Thread V2!

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#1101 Imperial


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Posted 01 November 2014 - 03:44 PM

Yay, activity!

Max. You're better off just moving on from her. I know its tough, but giving her space like that after only a few months usually indicates there's some sort of internal conflict with her, and there had been for however long.

You'll find someone new. Hell, you already apparently have a few physical relationships going on. Just enjoy yourself, eventually you'll get over this girl and be better for it.

Dolphin, sometimes its nice to get away from someone and enjoy yourself. Have some time alone. I know how you feel, I kinda felt that way about my girlfriend after a few months, and even now closer to 4 years, still sometimes, I don't really like *AHMG* miss her at times. Sure, sometimes I do, but its mainly from being with her all the time. Girls tend to be more heart-felt about being apart from their significant others. I wouldn't look too much into it.

Edited by Imperial, 01 November 2014 - 03:53 PM.

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#1102 Maxsje



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Posted 02 November 2014 - 04:42 PM

Thanks for your post man, you're kind of the expert around here and have helped so many people already, I'm grateful you also took the time to read through my troubles. Perhaps you have some more, because things have taken an interesting turn.

Last week she re-added me on FB (and I noticed she deleted some rebounds) and wanted to meet up. She eventually cancelled on me after she had forgotten about other plans. Asked her when she had time, "perhaps this Friday" but I didn't hear from her that day. Yesterday she texted me and apologised for that, ended up talking almost the entire day. She was giving quite a few getting back together hints in terms of "I hope you can open yourself up to someone else" - followed by "but damn, I keep texting you, that means something..." or "What we had was special.. but ****ed up".. I'm more of a no-nonsense guy so I just said "what are you trying to say", after which she admitted "Maybe I want you back".

Clearly she's in the missing phase. Right after that comes the getting over the other moment, so I must act quickly. However, from wanting her back the past few weeks, after yesterday I'm clueless. Perhaps she's only reaching out to me right now because she's afraid I'm getting involved with someone else (there's selfies on my wall with a girl she had previously been a bit jealous about), and I felt like she was trying to fish after something like that yesterday. We agreed to meet up on Thursday, but we're still talking regularly now.

The fact is I know why things ended, what I did wrong and what bothered her. We were spending too much time together, and she couldn't handle the possessiveness/clingyness/jealousy that she may have felt from me. I realised it at the time, just like the other things, and was planning to make those changes myself asap.. right before she dumped me. There wasn't another guy, I know that, but she seems to be unsure. However.. so am I. I wouldn't really know how to approach this situation if I decided to take her back, but I don't know if it's such a great idea either. I may know what to avoid doing now and have a much larger chance at a successful relationship now, but what if we end up being one of those on-and-off kind of couples? Does she really want to give it another shot and work things out this time, or is she just trying to avoid the point of no return of me being with someone else?

PS: I'm not currently involved with someone else. There's a few girls I'm having sex with and one of them expressed her desire to become a couple, but I was honest and told her I'm just not over my ex yet (which I'm clearly not), but I didn't say that despite being a very nice, pretty and lovely girl.. I don't think she's my type.

Edited by Maxsje, 02 November 2014 - 04:45 PM.

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#1103 the7goonies



Posted 03 November 2014 - 11:54 AM

View PostMaxsje, on 02 November 2014 - 04:42 PM, said:

I'm probably not the best advice giver, but I do have my fair share of opinions given to many relationships around me. First off, when I read your original post, I saw that you stated the relationship has only been 4 months. This gave me a yellow flag right away in two ways: Firstly, I thought, man just get over it. Time to move on, it was a brief relationship nothing big she wants something else -type feeling. However, rebounding from that, it sounds like it's still early in the relationship when you guys broke up and she has now realized, what she had, was better than she had previously thought after leaving you. She realized who she lost and wants that second chance with your side of 'fixes'. If you really have these emotional feelings and so does she, I say give it another shot. A take it slowly. I don't think she's trying to avoid the point of no return of you being with someone else. Yes, she might have gotten jealous at the club, but that was just a one-time thing. Nothing more. She probably realizes that you are a better man than she thought when she left you.

Edited by the7goonies, 03 November 2014 - 11:54 AM.

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